dulect:

teacher: I’m really disappointed that you failed the test

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WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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WHAT THE HELL

turkeyinacan:

shoutout to people working weekends and overnights and overtime, people working in hospitality and retail and food service, who are sacrificing time with their loved ones, so fuckers with weekday desk jobs get to live comfortably with the amenities we provide while simultaneously shitting all over us for not getting “real jobs”

I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I’m like a collection of paradoxes.

– Ferdinand de Saussure (via fearlessknightsandfairytales)